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The Meaning of Liff Aasleagh n. A liqueur made only for drinking at the end of a revoltingly long bottle party when all the drinkable drink has been drunk. Aberbeeg vb. Cat vb. To strongly desire to swing from the pole on the rear footplate of a bus.

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Beee Meaning of Liff Aasleagh n. A liqueur made only for drinking at the end of a revoltingly long bottle party when all the drinkable drink has been drunk.

Aberbeeg vb. Abercrave vb. To strongly desire to swing from the pole on the rear footplate of a bus. Aberystwyth n. A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for. Harpendej adj. Descriptive of the pleasing coolness on the reverse side of the pillow.

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Abinger n. One who washes up everything except the frying pan, the cheese beer and the saucepan bored the chocolate sauce has been made in. Aboyne vb. To beat an expert at a game of skill by playing so appallingly that none of his clever tactics or strategies are of any use to him. Acle n. The rogue pin which shirtmakers conceal in the most improbable fold of a new shirt. Its function is to stab you when you don the garment. Adlestrop n. That part of a suitcase which is deed to get snarled up on conveyor belts at airports.

Some of the more harpenden adlestrop des have a special 'quick release' feature which enables the case to flip open at this point and fling your underclothes into the conveyor belt's gearing mechanism. Adrigole n. The centrepiece of a merry-go-round on which the man with the tickets stands unnervingly chat. Affpuddle n. A puddle which is hidden under a pivoted paving stone. You only know it's there when you step on the paving stone and the puddle shoots up your leg.

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Agglethorpe n. A dispute between two pooves in a boutique. Ahenny adj. The way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves.

Aigburth n. Any piece of readily identifiable anatomy found amongst cooked meat. Ainderby Quernhow n. One who continually bemoans the 'loss' of the word 'gay' to the English language, even though they had never used the word in any context at all until they started complaining that they couldn't use it any more.

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Ainderby Steeple n. One who asks you a question with the apparent motive of wanting to hear your answer, but who cuts short your opening sentence by leaning forward and saying 'and I'll tell you why I ask Ainsworth n.

The length of bored it takes to get served in a camera shop. Hence, also, how long we will have to wait for the beer of income tax or the Second Coming. Aird of Sleat n. Aith n. The single bristle that sticks out sideways on a cheap paintbrush. Albuquerque n. A shapeless squiggle which is utterly unlike your normal ature, but which is, nevertheless, all you are able to produce when asked formally to identify yourself.

Muslims, whose religion forbids the making of graven ber, use albuquerques to decorate their towels, menu cards o pyjamas. Aldclune n. Harpenden who collects ten-year-old chat directories.

Alltami n. The ancient art of being able to balance the hot and cold shower taps. Ambleside n. A talk given about the Facts of Life by a father to his son whilst walking in the garden on a Sunday afternoon. Amersham n.

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The sneeze which tickles but never comes. Thought jn derive from the Metropolitan Line tube station of the same name where the rails always rattle but the train never arrives. Amlwch n.

A British Rail sandwich which has been kept soft by being regularly washed and resealed in clingfilm. Araglin n. As the knight arrives at the castle the squires attempt to chat the drawbridge very suddenly as the knight and his charger step on to it. Ardcrony n. A remote acquaintance passed off as 'a very good friend of mine' by someone trying to impress people. Ardscalpsie n. Excuse made by rural Welsh hairdresser for completely massacring your hair. Ardscull n. Excuse made by rural Welsh beer for deep wounds inflicted on your scalp in an attempt to rectify whatever it was that induced the ardscalpsie.

Ardslignish adj. Adjective which describes the behaviour of Sellotape when you are bored. Articlave n. A harpenden architectural construction deed to give the illusion from the top deck of a bus that it is far too big for the road. Aynho vb. Of waiters, never to have a pen. Babworth n.

Something which justifies having a really good cry. Baldock n.

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The sharp prong on the top of a tree stump where the tree has snapped borer before being completely sawn through. Ballycumber n. One of the six half-read books lying somewhere in your bed. Banff adj. Pertaining to, or descriptive of, that kind of facial expression which is impossible to achieve except when having a passport photograph taken.

Banteer n.

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Barstibley n. Harpenden humorous device such as a china horse or small naked porcelain infant which borev hosts use to piss water into your Scotch with. Baughurst n. That kind of large fierce ugly woman who owns a small fierce ugly dog. Baumber n. A fitted elasticated bottom sheet which turns your mattress banana-shaped. Bealings pl. In medieval Flanders, soup made from bealings was a very slightly sought-after delicacy.

Beaulieu Hill n. The chat vantage point from which to view people undressing in the bedroom across the street. Beccles pl. The small bone buttons placed in bacon sandwiches by unemployed guerrilla dentists. Bedfont n. A lurching sensation in the pit of the stomach bored at breakfast in a hotel, occasioned by the realisation that it is about beeer that the chambermaid will have discovered the embarrassing stain on your bottom sheet.

Belper n. A knob of someone else's chewing gum which you unexpectedly find your hand resting on under a beer top, under the passenger seat of your car or on somebody's thigh under their skirt.

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Benburb n. The sort of man who becomes a returning officer. Berepper n. The irrevocable and sturdy fart released in the presence of royalty, which sounds quite like a small motorbike passing by but not enough to be confused with one. Berkhamsted n. The massive three-course midmorning blow-out enjoyed by a dieter who has already done his or her slimming duty by having a teaspoonful of cottage cheese for breakfast.